The professional break-up

As someone who worked within one job function for the better part of my career, getting laid off brought on change that was unexpected and not overwhelming comfortable. I've found in the last two weeks, being laid off bears many parallels to the throes of a personal relationship break-up. One where my job has essentially up and left me to deal with picking up the pieces (duly noted that this is a strange economic time, but the parallels are still similar).

Similar to the first few days of a break-up, denial followed by a sense of euphoria were the key emotions. I was in shock. Suddenly, it was over. Regardless of how happy or unhappy I was about the five hour commute or the inner workings of corporate politics, life as I knew it was over. I lamented about what I could have done differently (I don't think it would have mattered in the slightest). I questioned my part of the "break-up". I had difficulty fathoming what I would do next without my job, my security and, parallel to a relationship, professional identity. All of it was beyond my control, as with someone being left in a relationship, and everything scared me desperately.

After this brief period (again, these are strange economic times), I began the euphoric process of change. Suddenly, I was not tied to the commute. My blackberry stopped incessantly beeping with e-mails. My calendar went from overloaded with meetings to completely clear. I realized that I could do whatever I wanted, my independence was back and I was free of stress. I felt very similar to the days after my marriage broke up. I spent two days walking around my property thinking about my next steps. I smelled the air. I felt the wind. I was free of my own expectations and responsibility of another. Anything was now possible.

And then, like any break-up, reality and grief began to set in. Panic, due to the financial constraints I now faced. Euphoria was great, but brief. What the hell was I going to do now? I spent two days on the couch depressed and anxious.

Fast forward a few days, as it is now coming up to three weeks. I'm in a new routine. I'm not thrilled to not be working, but opportunities that were unexpected have been presenting themselves to me. Sort of like the dating after a marriage, not familiar but refreshing.

I'm adjusting to no blackberry. I've taken up pilates again. The book WILL be finished by the end of the summer. The boxes with all my belongings came, I cried for a few hours and then wrote my own personal "dear work" letter. And let it go.

It's about reinvention. Staying in the moment and knowing that things will improve at some point. In the meantime, I no longer have to worry about the metro north increase or what my client may or may not say. I'm re-energized for life, sans the paycheck.

So, good-bye to my job, it was special and I learned a great deal. But, it's over and the time has come to move on.

I'm positively fired.

Yesterday I was interviewed on the radio regarding my demise as an advertising executive person (got laid off last Friday). I never really thought it would happen....but it did. So, instead of wallowing in self pity, I decided to do something I very rarely engage in---positive thinking.

Yes, it's not pretty getting laid off as more and more people are finding out today. On top of the rejection one feels, regardless of the circumstances, when you're sober, you have to worry about falling back into a self deprecation trap. I saw it this past weekend, noticed myself staring into space and looking to retreat on the couch in sheer panic.

Regardless of the fact that I am worried about the job market, finances, leaving a place I called home for years, there is opportunity in this process.

For the first time in years, I have had five days with little thoughts of work (where I had previously been consumed by every detail). I've done the radio, climbed rocks, taken my dog on a hike and given myself a reprieve from the hard work I've done for many many years. I've gotten on my bike and felt the wind.

Below, I've listed as many positives things about losing your job that I've experienced, conjured up in my head for fear of losing it and just thought of over the last days of analyzing everything:

• This a good time for re-invention (I mean, the job you had may not be the one you do again) both personally and professionally
• Don't dwell. After trying to figure out what happened, I finally realized that I would never be able to find answers to unanswerable questions.
• Take care of yourself. I found the first three days was easy to stop all things that were good for me, including taking a shower. Not such a good thing for anyone else in your life or yourself. This is the time to be good to yourself as there are things that are beyond our control.
  
• Contact EVERYONE you know. This is a good time for networking.
• Develop short term and long term goals. Even in a time of uncertainty, writing out goals will help. I currently have about four pages written.
• Re-evaluate what you need to live. Does having wifi connected to an iphone matter? Where are the savings in your life?
• Whatever you do, don't stop. Every morning I get up at the same time I did when I was commuting into the city and I just do anything to keep a routine.
  
• And think about the bigger picture. At some point, we will work again.
  

I will be posting the link to the interview from yesterday...and if anyone has any good advertising jobs, please let me know (See? I'm using all my resources!)

Radio Interview