Today, I have hit another milestone in my life. Without much fanfare, without much to do, today is the day six years ago that I changed every aspect of my life.
There is a certain amount of contentment that has begun to creep into my life. I celebrate this day by allowing myself to realize that I have and have had the capability to drastically change variables in my life to live fully and freely of the darkness I have felt.
I believe that the problems, the tragedies and the issues that have always been present in my life, truly manifested themselves into my need to drink. I don't believe that drinking was as much the problem as my need to escape the reality I was fearful of.
Simply, I could not deal with myself. The consequences of this were at times, dire and so deeply self deprecating. So, I drank. And that led to the weeded path of irresponsibility.
Today, after six years, the problems, the issues and the tragedies, still exist. My insecurities and my fears are still present in my life. But, it has been over the last years that I have finally begun allowing them their places in my life and letting go of the pain that I could previously not disassociate.
I am happy. I am content. I am so proud of the awareness that surrounds me. This has come from six years of hard, insightful work to bring out who I fully believe I am and who I continue to aspire to be.
The people in my life who have stood with me, walked with me, tripped with me that make this journey so amazing. I am no longer overwhelmed with sadness, I am truly overwhelmed by appreciation for the life I now live.
Thank you.
3 comments:
Happy Birthday!
Thank you so much for your message. It's always amazing what you"ll find on the net with some key words in google. I have sent my sponsee's this link becasue your message is so postive and powerful. Thanks again.
I found your blog recently(heard about it in the local paper)and it gives me hope. I'm a "blocked" writer stumbling thorough my first year of sobriety. At times the process is agonizing but often liberating and beautiful. I applaud your dedication to self-examination and your willingness to share your experience publicly with such grace and honesty. Congratulations on six years! --V.
Congrats! :)
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