Friday, April 08, 2005

Stuck in a chess game.

Every so often, I get stuck in one single moment and finding my way is difficult.

Today, life is like a chess game. Black and white squares make up the patterns of emotion. At times, I feel like the King (or Queen to be correct). Invincible. Strong. The last one standing. Other times, I feel like I am the pawn waiting to be overtaken. Jumping through hoops. Waiting for my fate. In one moment, I am reality checked.

And I sit and wonder if there is in fact, some kind of resolution. Do I continue to pursue those aspects in my life that are, in fact, not moving in the direction I want? Do I continue to play the game or do I simply concede and walk away?

A tough decision considering that life's clock is ticking all the while. Every move I ponder leads to another move. Every decision affects the one thereafter. And time is of the essence. Life is not standing still while I decide. Life is moving while I am sitting playing the game.

So, I am tempted to get up and throw the game. Throw my own curve into the mix and simply just walk away instead of agonizing over the next move.

And perhaps, I will walk by and find another game. And I will play by my own rules.....

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