Close to six years ago, I was at this crossroad in my life. I had been begged, asked and demanded by many people around me to get sober. At the time, I didn't believe I had the strength to do it. I opted for the easy road of continuing my life of unhappiness and irresponsibility. I mulled over getting sober, but it was so much easier to make excuses as to why being sober wouldn't work for me. "My friends will ditch me" "I will be boring" "I don't want to know who I am sober" were some of the thoughts that ran through my head.
Aside from the obvious benefits of being sober, I reached very deeply within myself and made the decision to change my life. I bounded into the unknown and suddenly, I was facing a woman I knew very little about.
And over the last six years, since the beginning of my sobriety, I have had to face many similar decisions where I knew my life would completely change as a result of these decisions. And every time this comes up, I remember the one day I decided to get sober.
For the last two years, I knew I had to make another monumental change. I was scared. I was comfortable in the monotony of life. Comfortable being exactly where I was. And then, again, I reached into my heart and changed the circumstances of my life.
And here I am, still standing. Still strong. Still me. I very often take this power I have for granted. In reality, the power of our heart, the power of our will, is truly amazing. When we stand up for what we believe, what will make us the person we so want to be, we are allowing ourselves to open up to new opportunities in life.
Right now, I am so thankful I had the power in myself to move on. To be sober, be me and live exactly the life I want to.
1 comment:
I'm 27, and I decided to quit drinking yesterday. I felt so anxious last night, sleeping without any alcohol in me. I was drinking so heavily that it was ruining my relationships. I was angry. I couldn't face myself, and just like you mentioned in this post, I made excuses. I would rather live a life of irresponsibility.
This post made me well with tears, thinking of how one day I want to say I'm 6 years sober, and then even more.
I love when you wrote, "I want to be ME". I haven't been me in over 7 years (when I began drinking), and I'm ready now.
Thank you for being an inspiration.
I too am blogging about my journey, follow me at:
TwistedFinger.Tumblr.com
(I'll let you in on a secret. I chose Twisted Finger as the name, because the man I love, I hurt him one night. I was drunk and demonic, and at a bar, I grabbed his hand and forcefully twisted his index finger. He was in pain, but he couldn't make a scene. I'll never forget that...)
Thanks so much.
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