Thursday, March 06, 2008

One foot in the past.....

For as long as I can remember, I have always kept one foot in the past, while trying to walk forward in my life.

Given, many of the anchors in our past are good memories, significant events and life lessons. These are things we tend to incorporate into our core being. We thrive on those memories and life events. We smile or laugh.

But, there are times when keeping the past close is more detrimental than character building. I'm guilty. When things get tough, I tend to crawl into the hole of bad memories and pain that I should have left behind years ago. It's always been a comfortable place for me. But, the side effects from this are far reaching. Dwelling, self deprecation, negativity, hindrance.

Not long after I left my ex, a few months ago, I decided that I was moving more ways than one. If I wanted a healthy relationship, I had to let go. If I wanted to be happy, I had to let go. If I didn't, I felt as if I would keep repeating all the patterns in my life, regardless of the fact that I was sober.

And so, I made the decision to take my damn foot out of the past and start moving, I mean really moving, into the future.

Here I am, three months later, in a completely different life emotionally. It's strange how you can make a commitment like that and if followed, actually works! I still have to drag the foot out, particularly when life becomes stressful. But, it's worth it. It's liberating.

So, instead of anchoring life, set it free. Move on, walk on and keep moving forward is my mantra of the week.


Sofia said...

hey - i like your blog. i'm on the same train as you, also enjoying sobriety. just started an attempt to write about it. but its hard to find words:) check it out if u want to

Jamie Grace said...

You don't know how big of an impact your existence has been towards my own recovery. Never thought I would consider myself someone to do drugs or alcohol, I'm sure every addict say that to themselves one day, the day they realize they have a problem and something has to change. That something comes from within, letting go of the anchor becomes an emotional freedom. Imprisoned memories become Pandora's box, its easier to co-exist with them then hiding from them.

Anonymous said...

Love your artwork and writings!are you on flickr or etsy?

Doc's Girl said...

There's a lot of power to the statement "fake it until you make it!" Ironically enough, studies have shown that if you mimic being happy, eventually you trick your body and mind to "cheering up." :-P

I'm glad that you are happy where you are--getting over past relationships is just so difficult.